About Me

A dissident is defined as “a person who opposes official policy, especially that of an authoritarian state.” I have never thought of myself as a political person, and I still don’t. But as Mattias Desmet would say “this isn’t a political problem, it’s a psychological one.”

Through an increasing emphasis on trainings and programs grounded in Critical Social Justice, an incredibly dehumanizing ideology which —amongst other things— prioritizes ones immutable characteristics above individual character, Smith College and other institutions like it have created and increasingly nurture hostile and toxic environments for its staff, students and faculty.

As an employee, I decided to take a public stand against these regressive policies and practices at Smith and the divisive, and destructive ideology that fuels them in a series of YouTube videos. It was my hope that in doing so I could not only improve working conditions for all staff at Smith, but for working people everywhere who suffer under similar policies in their respective workplaces.

Instead of responding to my concerns, Smith placed me on an administrative leave, pending an investigation. When the “investigation” concluded I was offered the chance to settle with the college in exchange for my silence. In the end it boiled down to a simple choice: comfort or freedom? As Americans, many of us have been lucky to enjoy both. We are now living in a culture in which we are increasingly asked to choose between the two. You can either continue to work in a hostile, psychologically abusive environment or speak up and lose your income. It is hard to believe we have allowed things to get to this point, and yet this is where we are at, and we must deal with it the best we can.

About This Newsletter

I had originally intended this newsletter to be about music, film and art. I wanted to amplify works of art that have not succumbed to an authoritarian ideology that has made it its business to destroy art. However, after releasing first post of that newsletter (which I had christened Gray Ghost) something didn’t feel right. It felt pretentious and cold.

Since so many people are going through the same thing as I went through, and since there are few public outlets dedicated to exploring the psychic realities of those of us who live or work in such environments not to mention those of us who stand up to fight this orthodoxy), I decided a diary would be better. Because “woke” ideology relies on psychologically abusive tactics to replicate itself, sharing my internal process as I navigate the public process of challenging my powerful ex-employer feels like it might be of use to others in some way, and hopefully helpful to me as well.

As Jordan Peterson said “If you don’t say what you think then you kill your unborn self.” Living a lie is the worst kind of death. I want you to know you are not alone. There are many of us. If we can risk talking about it with each other, then we can know we are not crazy or “racist” or (fill in the blank here). Most of all, we can know we are not alone. Once we know that —once we feel it in our bones— once we have moral conviction, anything is possible.

Why Subscribe

I will continue to make YouTube videos, but only when I have something to say that cannot be said here. And although I am working on a few other endeavors (music projects, writing a book, creating a formal peer support program for others suffering from this oppressive ideology) – this newsletter will now be the main source of personal information about me, a reluctant dissident.

Because song, film, art and literature play such an important role in my life, this endeavor will naturally include reference to the work of artists that nourish me during what is an incredibly stressful, overwhelming situation. So if you want the full experience, get yourself a Spotify account; they are free if you can put up with the ads (they aren’t that bad).

Support

By becoming a paid subscriber to Diary of a Dissident by Jodi Shaw you will help me financially. This will not only enable me to continue my expensive legal action against Smith College without worrying all the time about money, it will allow me to continue doing the kind of work that is important to me.

It’s either that or paint sheds, kids.

I am also on Twitter, YouTube and Odysee.

@smith_surge