This past week was a big one, with my public resignation letter, Smith’s counterpunch, the outpouring of support for me on my GoFundMe, and then the New York Times article.
I am doing some media appearances here and there but mostly laying low for a while and thinking about next steps, but mostly I am thinking about what I need to do to take care of myself.
The stress and struggles involved in working in such a hostile environment have had a negative impact on my physical and mental health. I am starting to address these issues now, albeit under the sudden new gaze of what feels like millions of eyeballs. I have been taking lots of walks this past week, listening to a lot of music. I have been playing the piano. I have been making lots of new friends.
When I decided not to settle with Smith, I felt like I was stepping off of a cliff. I was anxious and I was scared. I had no idea what would happen; I was choosing to face a complete unknown in exchange for a shot at making a difference in the world.
My lowest moment was perhaps the night I simply got into my bathtub, laid down, ran a hot shower, and cried. My highest moment was (and still is) the overwhelming support I have received from people all over the world, from all political parties, religions, and races (that last bit seems to be relevant).
As I was struggling with my decision about whether or not to step off that cliff, and in the immediate time after doing so, I listened to a lot of music. It was the only thing (besides hot showers) that would soothe me. Here is the playlist I made for myself with some of the songs I was listening to during that time:
Another high moment was when the New York Times piece ran. It is now clear to everyone, including Smith College, that this is not just about me, this is a much larger problem, and my story is just one of many on campus. This is about a massive moral failing, justified in the good name of “racial justice.”
One could argue that all of humanity’s worst atrocities have arrived wrapped in a warm blanket of moral goodness. It was only later that we realized with horror, what had transpired. Later generations believe with all their heart that they would never engage in such morally reprehensible behavior. And yet, here we are. We are only human after all. It’s important to remember that whatever past generations were capable of ––without vigilance and a steadfast commitment to the fundamental values of liberalism–– so too are we. To think otherwise is hubris.
Moving forward: I am trying to create an infrastructure to handle the gigantic changes in my life and all the new tasks ahead of me. I feel much responsibility to the others for whom I am fighting (at Smith and beyond) and who have reached out to support me, either financially or in other ways. I have hired an assistant, and I am trying to get her settled in. I am busy forging coalitions to broaden this movement. I have created a website to serve as a repository of information for my case. All my court filings will live there, as well as all publicity and ways for people to be in touch with me (forgive me if it takes a while to respond!).
I must also hire (yet another) lawyer and accountant to take care of the money people have entrusted to me, to make sure it goes to the people who need it. I am in discussions with a small but excellent and highly ethical non-profit, one whose visions align squarely with my own, about a partnership so we can best help the people in the trenches, those who cannot afford to stand up to this ideology without some real world practical supports. I also still plan to volunteer with Helen Pluckrose’s Counterweight, an organization already doing excellent work to help people negatively affected by this ideology.
And of course, I have been worrying.
I worry about so much that every time I try to write it all down here in a concise way, I find I can’t do it. I worry about this ideology, not only the damage it is doing to our country but to people everywhere on both an individual and social level. I worry about my family. I worry about my well-being. I worry about all the people who are trapped in positions that require them to live a lie.
But I feel like something is changing. Do you?
This change is not coming from the top; it is coming from the bottom. It is coming from every day, ordinary people from all across the political spectrum. People who are taking chances, walking into fires, stepping off of cliffs. And all the other people who are stepping up to support them when they do so.
We cannot do this without each other. We are The People. We always have been.
Love,
Jodi
Thank you! You are doing amazing thing, and yes - people are waking up. You need publicity - try to go on Tim Pool, Dave Rubin, Ben Shapiro, Joe Rogan, Steve Bannon. Your fight can unite people with common sense and basic morals.